


When Emotionally Constipated Volleyball Players Give Emotionally Mature Advice

by pinklighterfluid



Series: When Emotionally Constipated Volleyball Players Get in Emotionally Complicated Situations [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Conversations, Established Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Fluff, Friendship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, Pro Volleyball Player Tsukishima Kei, Sakusa Kiyoomi is Bad at Feelings, Slice of Life, and they talk about what a relationship means, and tsukishima witnesses it, because they are two people very very familiar with emotional constipation, the one time sakusa is chaotic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29337966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinklighterfluid/pseuds/pinklighterfluid
Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi manages to compose himself a tad bit, and says with a confidence of an avid flat-earther, “it’s definitely just anger now.” Tsukishima too quickly catches on to the scam– he’s got a paleontology degree for God’s sake, sue him for wanting to defend science– replies, “but it wasn’t just anger before?”Sakusa Kiyoomi throws him a sour look, realizing in horror that Tsukishima is also indifferent to social tact. He concedes: “Well, I’d say there used to be unresolved sexual tension…” Sakusa Kiyoomi, realist, weighs the pros and cons of confiding to this near-stranger. It’s strange because Tsukishima is not pushy (unlike Miya) and quite respectful of his space. In a strange case of reverse psychology, the fact that Tsukishima has no expectations makes Sakusa want to tell him even more.Sakusa deflates and reluctantly mumbles, “there used to be sexual tension, but I kind of resolved it an hour ago, and now I want to scrub both my body and mind clean from my recklessness. I thought stupidity was supposed to be Miya’s job, but apparently his dumbassery had rubbed off on me and now I’m also capable of lapses of judgement.”In which Sakusa Kiyoomi kisses Miya Atsumu and panics.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: When Emotionally Constipated Volleyball Players Get in Emotionally Complicated Situations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157573
Comments: 12
Kudos: 206





	When Emotionally Constipated Volleyball Players Give Emotionally Mature Advice

Sakusa Kiyoomi is furious. Sakusa Kiyoomi is furiously attempting to shrink into himself as the crowd huddles into the bar, oblivious to how he grits his teeth. Sitting at the far end of the bar, Sakusa Kiyoomi furiously questions what made him think that kissing Miya Atsumu was a Good Idea, when he embodied the notion of “chaotic evilness” and essentially had the maturity of a manchild. 

Sakusa wants to smash his head against the table, but instead a pitiful gurgle of frustration makes its way out of his lips. How out of character (Sakusa does not _gurgle_ ). Thank god Miya Atsumu wasn’t here to make fun of him for it – Kiyoomi could see it already: his smirk, his mouth curling in amusement as he taunts, “what, Omi-kun, didn’t know I had so much power over you.” _Perish_ , Sakusa Kiyoomi demands (in vain), but imagines Miya Atsumu disintegrating into pixels of piss-coloured yellow that is Miya’s hair anyways.

Sakusa looks up, and is greeted by an elegant eyebrow raise by an unusually large man that essentially has to fold himself onto the bar table in order to fit. He looks familiar. He wonders if the world is that small that all volleyball players must meet at least once in their lifetime. He wonders if the world would be merciful enough that this blonde 1) would not recognize him as Sakusa Kiyoomi, Division I Black Jackals Wing Spiker; 2) does not somehow share mutual friends with him, and; 3) had not witnessed his spiritual Miya-spiral in the past 10 minutes.

“Sakusa-san, pleasure to meet you,” says the blonde stranger, “I’ve been to a few of your games, though you usually look more composed than you do today. I’m Tsukishima.” Apparently, the world is not that merciful. Sakusa wonders what crimes his past life had committed to not only ever want to desire Miya Atsumu but also have someone witness his inward existential crisis. In the back of his mind, Kiyoomi remembers Hinata’s affectionate grumbling of meeting his boyfriend Kageyama and a “Stingyshima”. Even more heavily repressed is Bokuto-san’s occasional mentioning of a “Tsukki!!” (after all, if one was to actively listen to Bokuto-san all the time, one would probably no longer have any brain space with the number of stories he sprouts). A lightbulb flickers: Tsukishima Kei, Division II Sendai Frogs (though, rumoured to soon be Division I), Middle Blocker, known for his read blocking and game sense.

Sakusa Kiyoomi, surprised with how much locker-room talk he managed to retain, conveys this: “Bokuto’s ‘Tsukki’ Tsukishima-san and Hinata’s ‘Stingyshima’ Tsukishima-san?” Sakusa probably ignored 500 social cues with this one sentence, but settles on indifference – after all, he is known to be a blunt jerk, and is apparently suffering from an already impaired filter (considering he did kiss Miya Atsumu, The Worst Of Them All). 

Tsukishima lets out a reluctant grimace-smile, and replies: “Unfortunately, yes.” 

Sakusa Kiyoomi decides he likes him already. 

Tsukishima’s lips turn upwards into a smirk, eyes glinting with a sly perceptiveness as he witnesses Sakusa let his guard down a little bit, and continues to say: “Bokuto likes to call you ‘Omi-kun’.” Glancing contemplatively at Sakusa, Tsukishima, like the ass that he is, drives the knife deeper: “Bokuto also says you and Miya-san argue a lot and, on most days, he doesn’t know whether it’s just anger or ‘unresolved sexual tension’.” 

Sakusa Kiyoomi decides he no longer likes Tsukishima. Apparently, his reading skills stretches beyond volleyball and into the murky territory of Sakusa Kiyoomi’s Love Life. A part of him is glad that Hinata doesn’t share Tsukishima’s cunning. Another part is screaming at him that if even Bokuto (and now, a random stranger at a bar) knows, things must have been Really Fucking Obvious between Sakusa and Miya. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi removes his mask to take a sip of his canned, cleanly wiped-down beer. Sakusa Kiyoomi, God of Poker Faces, in a moment of weakness, removes his fractured metaphorical-mask and replies, “Bokuto-san’s confusion is, unfortunately, very relatable.” Tsukishima’s eyebrows shoot to the roof, disbelief at Sakusa’s easy admission. So does Sakusa Kiyoomi’s because, despite all the tightly-knit ball of chaos that he is, never would he think to admit that he and Miya Atsumu had Sexual Tension. 

Tsukishima apparently not only reads Volleyball, Situations, but also Minds, because he says “wow, did not think that you’d say that.” He pauses, fingertips tinkering at his glass filled with coffee-like substance (Kalua, probably, Sakusa deduces), then tilts his head in question, “so which one is it?” 

Tsukishima Kei watches as Sakusa Kiyoomi – composed, calm, unflappable – flails through a multitude of emotions. Tsukishima snickers in amusement as his fellow probably-emotionally-constipated-and-sexually-repressed acquaintance twitches in Disgust at his Feelings. Tsukishima relates at a spiritual level – after all, he’s been there, done that, and is now happily married after realizing that communication is crucial in any relationship and that feeling vulnerable does not equate to weakness. Loving (Tsukishima shivers a bit – how foreign a word that once was) someone does not equate to weakness. He fiddles with his ring a little and thinks of summers and the third gym where they shared their first kiss, the cheeky glint and charged competitiveness between Nekoma and Karasuno, fumbling limbs and shared looks. He thinks of resistance. At how he decided that Feelings For Kuroo would be filed into the deep, deep crevices of his mind – hopefully forgotten with some time and distance – after all, they were…impossible. Tsukishima, quite perceptive, knew that Kuroo had held some kind of romantic feeling for him – but Kuroo embodied a confidence that bloomed with maturity, and Tsukishima didn’t want to hold Kuroo back. He didn’t feel good enough for Kuroo, as irrational as he knew it was, and decided that bottling up his emotions would be for the best for both of them.

He thinks of white flags and very, very reluctant surrender, when he realized, 2nd year into University, how all was fraught because his feelings for Kuroo were inescapable. He remembers Akaashi’s reprimanding gaze and his bluntly honest words when Tsukishima gurgled out his 3 years’ worth of emotional constipation: “I think you’re massively underestimating yourself. Besides, who are you to decide what’s best for Kuroo”. He remembers wringing his fingers red when confessing, urged on by Yamaguchi when the pining became unbearable, and the storm of his thoughts dimming into a serenity at the softness of Kuroo’s eyes – usually catlike and crafty. “I’ve been waiting for you Tsukki,” Kuroo tells him. 

Tsukishima Kei watches Sakusa Kiyoomi and thinks of bottled-up emotions and Akaashi. He has been forever grateful to have an Akaashi in his life and wonders if Sakusa has a friend like that too. Speaking of Sakusa, it seems that he is now fiddling with his wrists in a way Kei did not know was humanly possible. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi manages to compose himself a tad bit, and says with a confidence of an avid flat-earther, “it’s definitely just anger now.” Tsukishima too quickly catches on to the scam– he’s got a paleontology degree for God’s sake, sue him for wanting to defend science – replies, “but it wasn’t just anger before?” 

Sakusa Kiyoomi throws him a sour look, realizing in horror that Tsukishima is also indifferent to social tact. He concedes: “Well, I’d say there used to be unresolved sexual tension…” Sakusa Kiyoomi, realist, weighs the pros and cons of confiding to this near-stranger. It’s strange because Tsukishima is not pushy (unlike Miya) and quite respectful of his space. In a strange case of reverse psychology, the fact that Tsukishima has no expectations that Sakusa might tell him things, makes Sakusa want to tell him things even more. Apparently, Tsukishima is about to know more about his love life than even Motoya, his (soon-to-be exiled, for starting the #sakuatsu LINE chat group) best friend and cousin. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi, realist, manages to compose himself a little before his body completely deflates, “there used to be, but I kind of resolved it an hour ago and that’s why I’m at this probably-germ-filled bar right now and I want to scrub both my body and mind clean from my recklessness – I thought stupidity was supposed to be Miya’s job, but apparently his dumbassery had rubbed off on me and now I’m also capable of lapses of judgement.”

Tsukishima Kei gives Sakusa a calculating look. He asks, “what did you do?”

“I kissed him.” Sakusa scowls.

“Okay.” Tsukishima smiles– a genuine, albeit tiny, upturn of lip-corner. Sakusa scowls deeper, and Tsukishima lightly sniggers in amusement. 

“Okay?” Sakusa, out of nowhere, remembers Suna and Osamu’s reminiscing of high school Nationals. Remembers them mentioning the “most passive middle-blocker glasses-san” from Karasuno, “but the passiveness was a trap”, Suna had warned. Sakusa swears this is what Suna meant when faced against Tsukishima, because, despite knowing that Tsukishima is Not Asking For It, Sakusa, for once in his life, is offering more information than socially necessary. “It was after practice. I went to Onigiri Miya without Atsu—I mean—Miya-san. I realized that ‘Umeboshi rice bowl’, my usual, was not on the menu. Osamu-san said Miya would always just tell him earlier to prepare it on days we’d go together.” Sakusa, once again, scowls, “when I got back to Black Jackal’s dorms, I knocked on Miya’s door and told him he was a dumbass for making his brother work more. That pain-in-the-ass looked me in the eye, looked smug, and said "ya know, Omi-omi, ya can just thank me with a kiss. Don’t worry, I already brushed my teeth, no need to sound so grateful.”

“You’re terrible at Miya-san’s accent, Sakusa-san.” 

Sakusa replies Tsukishima with an eyeroll, before continuing, “and so I did. I kissed him. And then I realized I kissed him. And then I ran. And so I’m here, right now.” Sakusa notices Tsukishima’s ring, _Diversion!_ inner-Sakusa screams. Outer-Sakusa asks, “you’re married?”

“Engaged. To Tetsu, yes. Kuroo Tetsurou. JVA desk-job sell-out, terrible personality.” Tsukishima pauses, and foils Sakusa’s plans with a knowing look, “I’m guessing you enjoy Miya-san’s company, then?” 

“No, I don’t.” Sakusa strolls down the path of resistance and denial before once again turning towards evasion, “why Kuroo-san?”

“He likes me because of my terrible personality, not in spite of it. I know. I married a masochist.” Tsukishima dryly rebuts, “you kissed him, though.”

Apparently, they’re both very good at passing the metaphorical torch of attention. “Kissing someone and wanting to be in a romantic relationship with them are two very different things,” Sakusa replies. He notices the scheming glimmer in Tsukishima’s eye too late. _Hook, line, sinker._

“I never said anything about romantic relationships, Sakusa-san, although that could be one form of enjoying someone’s company.” Kiyoomi thinks that his past lives must have been horrible criminals. “So, why not?”

“Why not?” Sakusa furrows his brow aggressively, “because…he’s narcissistic – the first thing he does whenever we enter the locker room is check himself out in the mirror. He loves attention and takes approximately 12 selfies whenever we go on runs. He whines way too much, especially when he’s hungry and is not fed his weekly dose of fatty tuna. He has an attention span of a five-year old. And his room is a disaster!”

“You know, Sakusa-san, for someone who denies enjoying his company, you sure do know a lot about Miya-san.” Tsukishima’s smirk turns serious, “Sakusa-san, no offense, but these reasons sound like excuses to me. Miya-san wouldn’t be Miya without his...intricacies, you know?—“ Sakusa snorts—“Besides, I don’t think you would like someone who is truly a menace. We’re all flawed—”

“Except Miya is undoubtedly more flawed than the average citizen–”

“Maybe, but, what’s important is that the two of you can become less flawed when together. I hate emotions. I used to be very insecure– still insecure, sometimes– once every month I spiral in despair and thoughts of 'this won’t work, I’m no good for Tetsu’ flood my mind. But Tetsu, somehow, still likes me. He laughs whenever I’m salty instead of getting offended; he’s patient whenever I close up and refuse to talk to him after an argument.”

Sakusa looks away and mumbles under his breath, “I…just don’t think I can give Miya what he wants. I don’t want him to commit to me thinking he can cure my mysophobia. Or that it’ll just go away. I’ll only disappoint him.” _Ah_ , Tsukishima thinks, _the crux of the problem reveals itself._

Tsukishima Kei thinks to himself how strangely the world works. He thinks of Akaashi’s reprimanding gaze and feelings of inadequacy. Sipping at his Kalua and milk calmly, he says, “Right. I don’t know Miya-san well, but despite his…uh…outgoing personality—” Sakusa snickers “—I don’t think he’s someone who would think he can cure you, or even perceives you to be someone who needs to be cured. How do I say this – see – I used to be really apathetic towards volleyball. It’s ‘just a high school club’, you know? But, with Bokuto-san, Akashi-san, and mostly Tetsu’s guidance, they kind of inspired me to want to be better. It’s not like I’m putting in more effort for Tetsu, to impress him or something, but rather spending time with him has motivated me to want to put more effort– for myself.”

Sakusa Kiyoomi thinks of barriers and walls and boundaries, and how spending time with Miya Atsumu has eroded its surfaces. He thinks of Miya’s pushiness and pettiness and intrusive personality, his endless whining and how it unknowingly weaseled itself into Sakusa’s category of “reluctantly endearing traits”. If there is any positive quality that Miya has, it’s definitely his attentiveness. He banters with Sakusa and pushes his boundaries, but never oversteps. On good days he challenges Sakusa’s spiking height with slightly higher sets and never settles for a just-average play– but also knows when Sakusa’s body is starting to strain. He watches Sakusa as he stares at the doorknob and grits his teeth, attempting to overcome his discomfort at opening the door. He asks, “ya okay there, Omi-omi?” And on days when Sakusa feels a little braver, Miya patiently waits as Sakusa brings his shaking hands to the door, naked fingertips against metal knob– not pitying, not impatient, not derisive or coddling– just watches, until the cool gust of corridor wind invites itself into the humid locker room, and Sakusa finds himself thoroughly exhausted but satisfied, and Miya gives him a tiny grin. “Good job, Omi-omi, but I didn’t know you were such a gentleman, opening the door for me and all,” he’d say, because trust Miya Atsumu to always have some sass, even when Sakusa feels like he just climbed a fucking mountain. 

Inadvertently, spending time with Miya – god forbid – actually meant lowering his barriers to the rest of the Jackals too. He remembers Week 3 of being on the team, Bokuto-san staring at his pre-eating disinfection routine, eyes-wide and sparkling. Sakusa expects “bro you’re so weird,” but instead gets an “Omi-kun, I think you missed cleaning the left chopstick tip!” He thinks of Hinata-san as he sprints to give him a high-five, before quickly retracting his hand and instead shouts: “elbow touch!!! Nice serve!” Which is of course followed by Miya’s “omi-omi! I want an elbow touch too! OH what about a butt bump?” 

He thinks of Itachiyama’s banner: “Effort”. Effort, in a team sport, means helping one another grow. It means nourishing one another’s potential. _Same philosophy for relationships, _a traitorous part of Sakusa’s mind supplies.__

____

____

Sakusa Kiyoomi hums at Tsukishima’s words, and thinks about what it means to want to overcome fears for himself. He thinks of the moments where he wanted to give Hinata that high five. He thinks of wanting to open doors not only in Miya’s presence, but in his day-to-day life too. _Oh god_ , Sakusa cringes, _I’m in so deep._

Tsukishima intersects his thoughts, “—and besides– you say that you can’t give Miya what he wants. What does he want? Don’t you think it’s unfair that he doesn’t get a say?” He pauses then sniggers, “and with that said, I think your to-be-boyfriend is currently stomping towards our bar table. You should speak with him.” 

“What?!” Sakusa frantically turns and mentally flails– he’s greeted with the sight of a disheveled yellow, angry hands-on-hips, and a stinky death stare. 

“Omi-omi! Ya can’t just kiss a guy then run off like that.” Miya notices Tsukishima, “ooh, I knew you had a thing for blondes Omi-omi, but I didn’t think I was so easily replaceable!” Sakusa sighs and rubs his temples. 

Tsukishima throws Sakusa a flat look, “I take it back, he is a menace. Run when you can.” Turning to Atsumu and giving him a saccharine smile, “nice to meet you, blonde wannabe Atsumu-san. I’ve heard a lot about your apelike behaviour.” Sakusa smirks at Atsumu’s bristling. “Anyways, I’m about to meet my lovely to-be _husband_ ” – he emphasizes – “so please enjoy your lovely conversation. Sakusa-san, think about what I had said.” As Tsukishima fishes out his wallet, he hears Miya say to Sakusa “aw Omi-omi, ya told him about me? How sweet of ya.” 

“Yes, I told him all about your slobbering habits, Miya.” 

“Let’s be honest, you love it when I’m sprawled on ya sofa snorin’. It’s not my fault ya apartment is so comfy!” 

Sakusa does not deny it, and instead chooses to say: “Tch. You drool and it’s disgusting.” 

“No I don’t! Lies Omi-omi! Lies!” 

Tsukishima nods to the two of them and leaves the bar, a satisfied smile on his lips. Meeting Sakusa-san was unexpected but pleasant, and he’s happy to have given Akaashi-level advice to the Black Jackals player. He’s excited to get home and cuddle with Tetsu– not that he’ll ever admit that to Tetsu’s face. With a quick drive, he arrives at their shared apartment and is welcomed by the smell of grilled fish and a Tetsu with glasses aggressively typing away on his laptop. Feeling the spread of warmth, Tsukishima softly says to himself _“I’m home.”_

Tsukishima wakes up the next morning to a message from an unknown phone number and, apparently, a new friend: “Thank you Tsukishima-san. Bokuto says you like strawberry shortcake. Sent a few slices to Kuroo-san’s JVA office. Enjoy. Oh, and Atsumu wants to know how you got your blonde to look so natural – SK.”

He smirks, saves the number, and replies: "That's because it is, unlike your ape boyfriend's hair. Congratulations on finally committing to a terrible decision, Sakusa-san. I wish you and I both luck." 

Then, a text to Akaashi: "Akaashi-san, do you think we can start a chat for volleyball players with irritating partners? I feel like there are enough of us nowadays. Idiots, everywhere."

**Author's Note:**

> _Akaashi Keiji created the group "Annoying Boyfriend Support Group"._   
>  _Akaashi Keiji added you, Sakusa Kiyoomi, Suna Rintarou, Kenma Kozume, Iwaizumi Hajime and 3 others._
> 
> Suna Rintarou: Oh thank god
> 
> Suna Rintarou: Sakusa-san can you tell your boyfriend to stop being a bad influence on Samu. They're bickering again. I'm about to commit a murder.
> 
> Sakusa Kiyoomi: I'll bring the poison.
> 
> Tsukishima Kei: I can deal with clean-up. 
> 
> Akaashi Keiji: I can hide the body.


End file.
